November 21, 2010

Sometimes...


Sometimes all I can do in a day is clean my room and feed myself. Sometimes all I can do in a day is go to the bathroom and make a piece of toast. Sometimes all I can do is water my plants and read a book.

There have been and are times in my life where I have very little will power to do almost anything, the simplest things. some of the biggest ‘no-big’ deals I cant even manage. Sometimes it drives me mad when the overhead light is on and not the lamp in the corner. Im a very sensitive person. Besides, lighting is a big deal.

Sometimes these times in my life last longer than I would like them to, and they start to get in my way. People start to mistake my actions for meaning things I don’t mean. Sometimes I start to do things I don’t mean to do, say things I don’t mean to say. Im not sure why.

Sometimes I get very sad and that seems to be the only thing that makes me feel better.
Sometimes I really just don’t have it in me and I cant do anything about it, or at least tell myself I cant. Which I know isn’t good, but I cant help it.

Sometimes I feel like Im doing everything right, and other times I feel like im doing everything wrong. Sometimes I feel like I know exactly what im doing, and other times I feel like I have no idea whats going on.  Sometimes these times happen very close together, if not at the same time.

Sometimes I can go on forever, and sometimes I cant go any further.

Sometimes only happens sometimes though, even though sometimes it feels like forever.

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