The Choice is (Y)ours

I hope people don't feel that by reading my words or thoughts or viewing my actions and agreeing with or 'Liking' them is enough, i don't want to make people feel understood and then complacent or contented just to know someone else is out there who agrees with them and thats enough, i want you to feel CHARGED and more POWERful in Your Self when you read my words to take Your Own Action and to Speak Your Own Words while knowing im here to back you up if you need me...


My actions alone will never be enough, i need you all to do your own part...THE WORLD NEEDS YOU... if you believe what you believe, there should be nothing stopping you and no opportunity you let slip by without making yourself heard and known.


If you're reading this... im counting on you to do what you know in your heart is the right thing... no one's holding a gun to your head, and no ones going to keep tabs on you either, but still do it for your self and do it for those you love. 
(Y)our world is (Y)ours to mold...

The meaninglessness of it, is what gives it Meaning

I am Me and I am You
I am Everything and I am Nothing
I am Beautiful and I am Ugly
I am Humble and I am Narcissistic
I am Now and I am Then
I am Here and I am There
I am Light and I am Dark
I am Meaning and I am Meaningless
I Am.

Unstoppable and Immoveable

I Speak Now
and I Speak through All of Time.
I Speak for My Self
and in turn
I Speak for the part of me
that lies Inside
All of Us.

The One thing I cannot escape is what I Am.

Respect My Light and My Darkness

Watch me Live My Dream and in turn Live it With Me!
We All want to live out our Dreams and likewise to watch others live theirs...

I Take Credit for Nothing except the Choices I Have Made.

No Apologies and No Promises

Nothing can Stop the Future and
Nothing can Destroy the Past

Im an Unstoppable Force of Thought and Emotion

To Find Oneself Incapable of Regret.

The Scariest Thing

the scariest thing isn't the world ending
the scariest thing is the world not ending
and having to dig ourselves out of
this mess we've made,
or face drowning in our own
guilt.

Thanksgiving Grace

Dear God, Universe, and Anybody Else who’s listening,

Thank you for the Hard Times. Thank you for the times that make me question everything around me, for these are the times that I learn and grow the most, and find out what it means to be truly grateful for everything I have, as it is.

Thank you also for our Sustenance and our Strength not only in the form of the food we are about to eat, but in all ways that we receive support from our Environment: our Family and Friends, and moments of Wonder and Appreciation that show us what it is worth fighting for.

Thank you for bringing us all together today to share in this time of Appreciation as a reminder that we are never alone, even when we are apart, that we share in an Eternal bond through our Hearts.

Finally, Thank you for this Miracle itself we call Life and our chance to take part in the Great Story of All things. for the chance to have Been who we’ve been, to Be who we Are, and to Become who we’ve yet to become.

In your Honor,

We Eat, Pray, & Love.

Amen

Everything and Nothing

What I Feel is an Immense Desire for Everything and for Nothing.

October 7th 2011 9:22pm

October 7th 2011 9:22pm Home Bedroom Michigan
I dont know whether to take another hit or not, because i dont know how high i want to be when i write this. just watched 'Howl' for the 2nd time and got this strong urge to write about how the world feels:
...to write about now, this moment
for myself + for the world
what it feels like
what it tastes like
what i see
the things i hear...
everyone has their own way of going crazy, with fervor of their feelings. some are quiet crazies who implode in and behind locked doors some are screaming, crazies who take every chance to howl at every honest man they can. here i go thinking too much again...
but thats exactly what all of this is
too many airwaves + brainwaves + tidal waves
too much you and not enough me,
too much me and not enough you.
this heavy internal tension about how to best use my time, the time i have left, before bedtime
before twenty-twelve, 
before bars close, and time before im once again alone.
alone to contemplate my universe and yours,
before i need a new chapstick a new car, a new job, a new apartment, time before i loose my high, and i turn twenty-four and before saturn transits the sun, moon, and mercury wall st. is occupied, main st. is occupied,
chicago, detroit, and ann arbor, and
the world thinks what took US this long.
but while attention occupies the world,
i worry about where the cameras are not rolling
in the persuasion of the masses
and the influence of their ashes,
in the mind, body and soul
of the consumers of coal,
not the war in the middle-east
but the war for our sanity,
where every soldier stands alone
fighting to make his way back home.
10:08pm

Take your 'Happy' when you can get it!

We've all gotten so used to being angry, agitated and cynical by everything that we've forgotten how to just be stupid HAPPY!

At any given moment, some of the worst things you can Imagine are happening to people in the world who you don't even know actually exist, their whole world is currently pain + torture + suffering of both the physical and emotional depths of their existence... At This Moment... think about your own situation now, we all have things that we've been taking for granted for far too long...Be Thankful and truly Joyous when the occasion presents itself, in their Honor...


Because they want you to be truly happy, we all do.
if they were you, they'd say fuck whatever else is going on and be happy because you're lucky enough even to have that as an option right now... but the world isn't out to get you, it really doesn't care too much actually, so you have to take your happy for yourself.

Caught up in the midst...

I feel so caught up in the midst of things right now!

EVERYTHING! 

my self, my own life, and the world and the lives of everyone in it!

its too much! anyways all i have the energy for anymore is to take care of myself, and i think thats the way it should be, because only if i can take care of myself first will i ever be able to be there for others when they need me.

I dont think we can truly change our government and corporations by protesting or telling them what we want or what we want them to do and how we want 'them' to change. no one easily bends to the will of another...

Change Must come from Within.

i think simply enough, WE OURSELVES must change, and stop expecting it to come first from others. i believe if we could all focus on putting True effort into bettering ourselves and our own lives, expanding our own universal nature and awareness, to find happiness coming from within no matter what comes from without, and work to share and spread that inner love outwardly, with each of us committed to being our own center of positivity, i believe we will begin to see the world change around us. in order to bring about Love, we ourselves must first Live, Breathe and Be Love...unconditionally...for all.

new age, new consciousness, new ways...new kind of revolution

and only you know in what ways you need to change... you must then just be willing to enact those self imposed changes on yourself... you are solely responsible for your own change... if you really want it.

Be good to your self so you can be better to others, allowing them to be better to themselves so then they can be better still to others in turn...and on and on...you see?

We all need to have the courage to truly look at ourselves...you, me, cops, wall st, protesters...everyone
imagine if people on wall st began to look at themselves truly?! how horrible would they feel? but if there's no love to lift them back up, why should they abandon their ways? i dont think wall st will be able to look at itself truly until we all recognize them first as fellow humans and help them feel together as a part of us instead of separated by something as stupid as money. we cant let money come inbetween us.

We have to STOP being AGAINST EACH OTHER...we're ALL in this TOGETHER...that doesn't exclude cops or wall st... and everyone needs and deserves Love...

A Journal Reading

May 12th, 2011 5:24pm Home Bedroom Michigan

NEWS FLASH! THE WORLD IS LOVE!!!

My Idea of 'Home' Must become the World
and 'The World' Must become my 'Home'.

I've Created My Own SELF Every Step of the Way.

THIS IS ALLLL> Real.

The OUTSIDE IS THE INSIDE!

THE WORLD IS MIND

THE MIND IS WORLD.

This IS the Revelation.

I AM A WHOLE UNIVERSE UNTO MY SELF!!!

I CHOOOSE TO LIVE because I LOVE MY LIFE and EVERYTHING IS LOVE!

LOVE IS TRUTH!!!

You will Doubt THIS but you ALREADY KNOW it to be TRUE!
and really...you wont ever doubt it again!

EVERYTHING will be OK!

And it ALL works in Waves... THAT's What you MUST have Faith in!
the Coming and the Going
the Going and the Coming

THIS IS PERFECT FAITH!
i NEVER have to Fundamentally Doubt My Self Again...
but i will...
because i must...
and THAT's THAT
the Coming +
...the Going...

I CAN DO ANYTHING

I CHOOoooOOOSE MY OWN LIMITS!!!

I Have Perfect Love for My Self and that's why I CAN ADMIT IT TO ANY ONE ELSE!!!!
EVEN YOU!

And ALLLLLLL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CHOOSE TO LOVE YOUR SELF AND YOUR OWN LIFE, because We Are All One and if I KNOW IT, than YOU KNOW IT TOO!!!
<3
NAMASTE!!! TRULY!!!

Consciousness is a Gift

Consciousness is a Gift. 


Out of All the Universe, and All the Levels of Consciousness, From Plants to Microorganisms to Insects to Animals, We are at the Top of Consciousness and Self-Awareness as Human Beings. This is an Important Point to be Aware of and Not something to be taken for Granted and a Role that we Must take Responsibility for.


I feel the only way to be worthy of such a thing, is to Appreciate it with as much Love as the Spirit with which it was given. 


Everything you Think and Feel is Valid in the Moment, Don't let Anyone convince you otherwise.

Everything you Experience is a Part of it All, the Universe and what is has to Offer.


EVERYTHING YOU SEE
EVERYTHING YOU HEAR
EVERYTHING YOU TASTE
EVERYTHING YOU SMELL
EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH
EVERYTHING YOU FEEL

Go Forth and Appreciate ALL you are Conscious Of without Discrimination As it Is!!! <3


And Please Remember, I Love You, As You Are...

I AM REAL & I ACTUALLY EXIST.

I am Both Mortal and Divine

I see myself as a being within the World and the Universe, I am a part of the Whole.

The World has me as a part of it.

I can see myself as an ‘object’ from a ‘so called’ “Third person” p.o.v. (at least hypothetically)

I make/choose my own limitations

I have the World before me, the World has me before it.

My own ‘For Myself” is a part of/ makes up the whole “In-Itself”, like each cell in my body makes up my whole

I have a responsibility to the ‘In-Itself’ for Myself. (I am responsible for myself for everyone else.)

We cannot make the ‘objective’ viewpoint into our own subjective perspective, but we can view the objective viewpoint as an object, subjectively. We can still gather information this way.

I DON’T HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD.

I can be happy for the world and for its accomplishments and share in it with others.

I should try not to Expect So Much from myself All The Time.

The World will be fine in the Meantime, so the things I do Do, I should take my time with and do fully right the first time to make the best impact.

There is no established path for me, I could never be “normal” even if I tried. Trust me, I’ve tried. Listen to My Self.

I will always be ‘different’, ‘creative’, ‘analytical’, ‘intellectual’, ‘emotional’, etc. even if I don’t show it all the time. I don’t have to constantly be proving myself.

Taking proper care of myself is THE Best thing I can do to help the World. The/My World needs me in Top form.

Use the System to Breakdown the System.

It’s OK to be in the Middle

Its OK not to be finished yet…

…not to have reached my destination…

…not to have reached completion…

…or perfect equilibrium.

Its OK to be just as I am.

Don’t’ worry about the future because it will get here when it gets here, and it will NOT get here until then.

The Place of Rest is IN this Moment. all the ‘Security’ I’ll ever have is right now.

Its OK to feel secure when I am.

I cannot be consciously aware of Everything and All Factors and All sides of a situation. I must learn to trust fate and my unconscious and my instincts more. And let go of Regret.

Time for This, Time for That, Not for Both. Pick One and Do the Best I Can.

A Lot of things we have to do in Life are actually really easy when we take them one at a time. But they can seem really hard when we think of them all at once.

Deal with what’s in front of my face, Here and Now.

I don’t have to be the Most Matured person ever…im still fairly young and I need to forgive myself.

Relating to others helps us see ourselves better.

For Real and Far-Reaching Change to begin, most things need to reach “That Point” where change is Necessary and in most cases the Only Option.

Most People Need to Learn the Hard Way for themselves, or else they won’t really learn. And that’s OK too. 

I LOVE YOU!

Sooooo, i have something ive been meaning to tell you all for a while now.


I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 
And i Really mean YOU! if you're reading this right now, it means a) you've visited my blog. b) you are consciously involved with it. c) you're witnessing something i've personally expressed of myself and allowing it to move within and through yourself. and for all of those reasons I LOVE YOU!


i cannot really express how truly Grateful i feel to have a place that i can share some of the thoughts and ideas that Mean the Most to Me, the thoughts and ideas that make up the Foundation of my own Existence!  it is truly an honor to be able to share such things with so many people. i even especially love thinking about all the people i have no idea have seen this, and have not responded at all, because i have absolutely zero idea how this is effecting their lives, but i love imagining how it might be. People in over 20 different countries have seen this and THAT Amazes me!!!


i'd now love to share a few responses that i've gotten to my blog which have made me want to cry their so touching...
"Hey man,
Really glad you got my letter; I thought I might've addressed it wrong! I just wanted to let you know that I've been reading your blog, and in so many ways, it's helping me make sense of a lot of what i've been experiencing here. I think I might have actually written that to you in the letter, but it continues to amaze me how-even though your writing is clearly not for my benefit and likely means very different things to you-it also resonates in so many powerful ways with a lot of the ways i'm feeling and processing in India. In fact I went back to your page just now to reference specific entries, but they're literally too numerable to even begin to talk about here. Everyday I remind myself to think about "my own reactions to my own actions", that "Today is today" and I need to be present within every moment to understand both its complexity and its beauty, and i feel the weight and burden of the past (my past, india's past, my culture's past) getting heavier and more meaningful everyday. So, in short, thank you for creating a medium through which to share your writing because in finding a public way to comes to terms with and understand your own reality, you're also helping me to do the same with mine.
miss ya buddy"

Response: 

"man...

you will never know how much this means to me to read this. effecting other peoples lives in a positive way and in turn being effected positively by others is all i could hope and ask for in the world. what you just wrote to me tells me that that is something im concretely beginning to achieve in my life, and that gives me a very peculiar, content, grateful feeling.
i am happy. and i hope you are too!

haha, shits getting pretty epic huh...lol for both of us!
the feeling of understanding and being understood (the BEST!) (and even then appreciated! omg...haha!)"

And another one i love so much <3:

"hahaha you are so amazing alexander! 

and yes thats so true after i read your whole blog i felt such a connection with you i had to follow it!! You can feel your presence while reading the blog and you have a clear and distinct voice that resonates with me even after ive read a post.
It is honest and vulnerable. You are taking away all the bullshit that normal blogs have which conform to society and "what the public will think and how they will react".
I am all about the discovery of life and our minds, how they work and how our thoughts and actions ultimately make you who you are in day to day life. Like you said in reach every single thing we do has a spiral affect that we might not know about now but surely will later on. But the basis of the blog for me is that it makes me think. It generates that part of your brain that normal people rarely or never use. I also love your pictures of your journal one liners on a blank sheet. It makes me feel close to you which is huge considering we have only met for 5 mins : )
I am sure this is vague also hahaha but i hope i helped! I look forward to reading much more my dear and hopefully seeing you sometime in the near future.
much much love!!
xxxx"

Response:

"wow!...you just made me smile SO BIG! hahaha...

gosh, i mean what you just said is pretty much exactly what my aspirations are for my 'blog', which is just to help spur people on to use that part of their brain they rarely or may never use, and to 'stick' to you in some way after you've left the page...and by you telling me you see it as 'honest and vulnerable' also is huge because that means you can sense my intentions behind the work. and the intention is a huge part of it too. ITS ALL A HUGE PART OF IT! haha...god i hate bullshit. lol.

but yeah, you totally just made my day, so thank you! and im so just so glad that you feel that you're getting something positive out of what im trying to do. that in itself makes me feel really accomplished and like i actually am working to 'make the world a better place'.
LOVE♥"

I think that really says it all right there... but i just really wanted to express My Gratitude to YOU ALL for allowing me a release and a platform form the things that are truly important to me in Life... You Guys are the BEST! <3 

I made a new email just for this blog also, if any of you guys would like to write me, for ANY reason, questions about me or questions about life or just certain sentiments you feel about life, or if you just wanna send me some Love...hehe, i would Love to hear from YOU!

FlowingImagination@yahoo.com

<3Alexander

Never the Same

I've Tried

I will Love Again.

What I've Come to Realize so far

I WAS HERE AND NOW YOU ARE HERE,
    WELCOME TO HERE AND NOW

We are mortal manifestations of eternal essences.

Light cannot be seen if one hasn’t developed the eyes to see it.

I’m staring at this page and “hearing” these words in my head.

There are many languages other than those that are only spoken/written. There is language in the way. Language in a process, language in a result, language in action.

Language is based upon meanings assigned to certain symbols.

I plead that you allow this its own time and place…do not hold it to any standards above and beyond the specific circumstances in which you encounter it.

Let the experience flow through you as the thoughts I present to you flow in and out of your mind.

This was made with the possibility of you in mind.

your experience is what you make of it, what you already have that you bring to it.

it is not the job of other people to conform to my ways of thinking…it is my job to take opportunities when people are open to listening and use those times to persuade and convince them of my idea, thought, etc. of their own free will.

I cant do everything myself, and I’m not the only person living on this planet.

Do not take anything at face value…better than trying to figure out what I mean by writing this, try and figure out what you mean by reading this.

These might be my words, but what’s going on in your head, and your experience with these words, your thoughts are your own and I cannot do anything more than present the information to you.

You’re the one who has to go to bed with yourself every night and wake up to yourself every morning.

You have to teach them how to read it

The Ability and Willingness

Disassociation

Beginning Implies End Implies Beginning

Existence implies Space

Space implies Time

Time implies Occurrence

Occurrence implies Sense/Perception

Sense/Perception implies Experience

Experience implies Memory/Association

Memory/Association implies Evaluation

Evaluation implies Judgement

Judgement implies Choice

Choice implies Re-Action

Re-Action implies Responsibility

Responsibility implies Morals and Ethics

Morals and Ethics implies Empathy

Empathy implies Sharing

Sharing implies Expression

Expression implies Creativity

Creativity implies Destruction

Destruction implies Chaos

Chaos implies Order

Beginning implies End implies Beginning
implies Infinity
implies the Importance of Here and Now

Moved by Music

Klimt copy/interpretation. Painted using ceramic tools. '07

I've Gone Black

So, as you can see i've changed the background color on this blog. (and subsequently the color of the text and titles. etc.) and i would like to explain myself because i feel such a change deserves a reason.

This has everything to do with "The Canvas is Black: We Add Light"

If you think about space and the Universe and the Galaxy and all that great big stuff out there, there really isn't that much light shooting around, it seems to be a pretty dark place. The darkness of black serves as the perfect background to show off the brilliant luminescence of the Stars and the planets that they shed light on.

imagine if the Universe we're White instead of Black, how much harder it would be to see the brightness of the Stars...

and in a similar way i believe this applies to the idea of Black as a background color for the design of this blog. the background is the Void, and thus Everything I add here to it, is a little bit of Light that i am sharing.

Blindness

i drew this with my eyes closed...one hand moving over my face, the other moving over the paper.

Second Chance

Out Of The Void

The Canvas Is Black

We Add Light

I am enchanted

i am mezmerized
i am bewitched
by the sensations and perceptions of your virtue you freely extol.
the sun bathes me in warmth, the sparrow sweetly sings his song,
the gentle breeze blows fanciful fragrances past my nose,
the sight of the early blooming crocus pleases me
knowing that once again the world delights in easy living
and i am transfixed
and i am transfixed
and i am transfixed

that sort of wednesday

Sisters

A Piece of Life

I Am Here and Now

First and foremost I am here and now.
I am what I am and that is all that I am.
Then I am human, the animal.
Born with the will to live,
Living with the will to die.
Next, a son, a brother,
A part in the play, of the lives of others.
Finally, a friend, and enemy.
Endowed with the ability
To differentiate one from the other.

Mr. Disillusioned

Looking out my window, I see snowflakes falling. The kind of clustered snowflakes where you know it’s not just one falling all alone by itself, but a group of them stuck together. and we all fall down. It’s not the first snow, nor the second, or any number I can remember at this point. The flakes fall in places where they simply cover up those who covered up others. snowfall after snowfall. I don’t know why im trying to be so poetic about it. it makes me want to gag just writing it like that. The guy across the street is shoveling his driveway, again. Ive stopped caring at this point. Besides my jeep has four wheel drive and I can drive out of my way just fine. I don’t understand how anyone can live in Michigan and not have four wheel drive on their car.

If it got to a point where I wasn’t able to get out of my driveway and by necessity I had to shovel I would, but who cares about an inch or four? I don’t have faith in the purpose of those sorts of things. keeping my lawn mowed, keeping my way shoveled. I apply my efforts in other kinds of ways. Day after day the disillusionment in the air condenses and precipitates, covering my eyes. It doesn’t just fall an inch or two at a time either. While my neighbor may be out every day shoveling for an hour at a time, It may take me an hour just to dig myself out of bed.  It doesn’t snow on just one mans house, but the air around my head seems to be made of some heavier molecules.

Ok enough with the metaphors already, Mr. disillusioned. I don’t even know why im bothering writing this, because I know its never going to leave my laptop. Why am I spending this month at home, alone, taking care of my mom’s cat and telling everyone im ‘working on my writing’ when what im really doing is sitting and staring out my window at my neighbor shovel his driveway and thinking about what a waste of time this all is and how none of it is going anywhere.

I mean really, what about the world today is there to serve as a sign to tell me there’s hope for any of us? people talk about having faith, but who actually does? I wish I couldn’t tell so easily when people are talking bullshit. And then I smile and nod like I actually agree with what they’re saying anyways. I feel like holden caulfield for chrissake. Who doesn’t nowadays?

Man, I just feel like this snow weighs so heavily on me. And shoveling it away just to get in my car and drive to work for the day is not a good enough reason for me. I wish I had a better reason to shovel my driveway. Something out there I cared enough about to make sure there was nothing in my way to get there. I want so much to care, I do. im dying to care.

Oh, and here comes my neighbor’s neighbor out to shovel his driveway. No doubt feeling insecure that his neighbors driveway is shoveled and his is not. Poor bastards, so easily influenced, so easily persuaded. Oh god, I think he’s actually walking over to my house? Does he honestly think he’s going to come over here and repremand me just for leaving a foot of snow unshoveld?

Wait a second, Doth mine eyes deceive me?! I cannot believe this… this fool of a took has actually begun to shovel MY DRIVEWAY! Wow, im getting a really strange rush of feelings right now. I honestly don’t even know how to take all this. Why the hell would this man care enough to do what he’s doing? The only interactions ive ever had with him is awkwardly waving across the street when we’re accidentally both in our front yards at the same time, and then me turning my back and silently gaging. He has no reason to be doing me any favors. I mean, that is kinda really nice of him though.

Ok, I need to try and wrap my head around this because this is not fitting with my holden caulfield view of the world, this simply does not happen in reality. So what reasons could he possibly have… he could be buttering me up to ask me for a favor? But why would he ask me a favor out of all the other neighbors in our hood. That cant be it. he could be trying to show off his neighborliness to everyone else! But that’s a lot of snow to shovel just to show off. I mean I really cant think of any reason.

Hold on holden, wipe away your disillusioned covered eyes for a second, and try and see what the world is showing you right now. even though I don’t want to believe it or even consider it, I feel like this guy is doing this just to be nice. I mean, this guy is actually my neighbor, I guess, whatever that means. Wow, could this be that stupid sign of hope I was just asking for five minutes ago? I think I have a choice to make right now. not a choice of action, but a choice of observation. If my aim is to see the world as it is, then I cannot deny that this man is showing me a side of the world I haven’t seen in a long time. Uh oh, I feel a metaphor coming on.

Honestly though, all we have is our own perspective of things. and while my perception has not necessarily been full of selfless acts of human generosity, I suppose that doesn’t mean they no longer exist. Does that mean just because I haven’t felt hope in a while that it can’t suddenly come out of nowhere to shovel a foot of snow off my disillusioned eyes? Is that a stupid metaphor or what? 

Everything that Happened

OK! so im trying something new out that ive been building up for a while... i would APPRECIATE some feedback!

the thing about it is the MEANING of all of it:

what you're seeing here is a fingerpainting using red blue and yellow paint. some of the words have been covered over by charcoal.

Finger-painted words because it symbolizes my physical reality connection to the abstract concepts of the words.

3 Primary colors used and mixed together because it represents how 'alive' words are themselves and the whole 'spectrum' of interpretations of meaning and perspectives possible. Words are symbols, words are Images.

Charcoal obscures the words that i feel have less interpretation possible/ less meaning inherent in them, yet all of them still have the 3 primary colors underneath the charcoal. 

The blocky parts and everything else is just evidence left over of the process of my facilitating it's creation

and the text is my belief that at the end of the day, at the end of my life, all that is going to remain, is everything that i've done and everything that has happened in my life...

...that and the ripples.

Every Thought Imaginable

and never stop...

Spilled Soup

This is what i feel like right now, 

and im not planning on cleaning it up...

from a while ago...

self-portraits '07

Nietzsche/Basquiat

FAILED ATTEMPT

and i need to prove it to myself.

Too Much Free Time

 just havin some fun, chillin at home, me and my friends! 

you know how it goes...

Living on Purpose

My name is Alexander Weyer
and im an Actor, but im not Acting.
At least I don't think i am.

but even when Actors are Acting, their still Living, anyways...
those experiences are still a part of their Lives.
those Actions still have 'Real' consequences.
I think Acting is less Acting and more
just putting a good imagination to use.
Real living within a temporary Illusion. a daydream.

Acting can be an escape.
a way of dodging true responsibility with yourself.
a way of hiding from yourself for a while.

but then again you don't really go anywhere do you?
You're always right where you Are.
I'm always right where I Am.

I'm a lot of other things besides an Actor too.

I'm a writer, but im not writing.
writing is just something i choose to do with my time.
sometimes.

other times i do other things.
im still just Living. existing. Acting.
Doing. Breathing. Seeing. Hearing.
thinking. Learning. growing.
experiencing. judging. evaluating. calculating.

just like Anybody else, right? just like you. but different.

but whatever im doing or who i am, im still just living.
my name is Alexander Weyer and im not Acting, im Living.
on purpose.

Spite

...ya know what i mean?

the simple 'unfortunate' fact that i have to do things i dont necessarily want to do. things i may have no (conscious) desire to do. but still...trying to do the 'mature' thing and own up to the facts about my own existence and taking certain things into my own hands which had previously been in the hands of others.

and just having as much faith and hope as possible that there will be benefit.

Stalemate

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When you've lost everything...

just takes a little hard work and perseverance! 

(and some hopeful faith!)